Helping Pets Cope With Loss

A heart-tugging image of a brown Labrador retriever named Hawkeye lying beside the American flag-draped casket of his human companion, Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson, went viral on the internet within hours.

Pet lovers were moved by the symbol of loyalty shown by the dog who would not leave his best friend’s side. For many Americans, the image also served as a reminder of the lives that were lost on 9/11 and of those who are still serving in Afghanistan. For others, the depiction of a seemingly depressed and heart-broken dog represented the possibility that there’s more to our pets’ psychology than has ever been identified.

If dogs are capable of grieving, then how can we, as pet lovers, help them deal with their pain? How can we heal them after the loss of a loved one?

Signs Your Dog is Mourning: Grieving Dog Symptoms

Just like with humans, no two dogs are alike and neither are their responses to death and loss. Some may show signs of physical sadness, while others may display symptoms of negative behavior, and some may not show any sign of emotional suffering at all.

A dog that experiences any kind of major change, such as the introduction of a new child or a move of residence, can show signs of depression, says Dr. Christopher Pachel, a Board Certified Veterinary Behaviorist. When an extremely, socially bonded dog loses a member of the family, whether it’s another dog in the household or a human companion, the physical signs of depression can show up at greater heights and lengths.

• Loss of appetite
• Lower water intake
• Sluggish response to humans and other pets
• Change in sleep habits
• Loss of interest in play
• Howling or crying
• Seeking extra attention

Mourning may lead to a loss in appetite, lowered water intake, sluggish response to humans and other pets, a loss of interest in play or physical activity, and even a mournful howl here and there.

The symptoms can also increase gradually over weeks or months. If you’ve noticed these symptoms in your pet, it’s best to get the dog to a vet as soon as possible to rule out any potential physical illness. But if you’ve recently lost another pet or a member of your family, surviving dogs may suddenly start showing these signs, which is a good indicator that they are grieving.

Handling the Death of a Canine Friend: Help a Surviving Dog Understand

When one dog in a two-dog household is gravely ill, it may help for the healthier dog to be present during euthanasia, or at least for the animal to see the deceased dog’s body, says Dr. Pachel. This gives surviving dogs the opportunity to see for themselves and better process the death of a loved one.

If the circumstances aren’t right to have your dog present, you can still help your dog grieve. Giving your pet a chance to be near the deceased family member or pet may help your dog understand the grieving process better, as it seems to have done for a dog like Hawkeye who was able to lie near the casket of his deceased owner.

How to Help a Grieving Dog: Help a Dog Cope With the Loss of Another Dog

While extremely long periods of grieving aren’t normal in dogs, simply showing patience and understanding to a pet in mourning can help an anguished dog cope, suggests anthropologist and author Elizabeth Marshall Thomas.

Be Patient

Show your pet a little patience; human emotions and behaviors can also feed into the dog’s mood or behavior, suggests Dr. Pachel.

“It’s a natural human tendency to want to console, to comfort, to soothe, to nurture, yet it is possible to feed into the negative emotional process,” Dr. Pachel warns. For instance, “If the dog is reluctant to eat and then gets more attention for sitting by the bowl rather than eating, that’s a great way to create a picky eater, at that point.”

Give your beloved pet time to go through their grieving process, and in the meantime, be sure to process your own grief, as well.

Stick to Your Routine

Maintaining a normal routine for your pet, such as a familiar eating time or playtime, is the best way to help with the transitional process. Take a tip from animals that live in the wild: they don’t have as much time to grieve as domesticated animals.

“They have to move on pretty quickly, to suck it up and keep going, just like some of us must do,” Thomas says. “This doesn’t mean that grief isn’t still with them, just that they can’t do much about it.”

A regular routine will keep your surviving pet occupied and encourage them to grieve and recover in their own time without sacrificing their health.

Play More

In the case of an extremely depressed dog, you can also add more playtime to your dog’s normal routine to raise serotonin levels, which may have a positive impact on your dog’s behavior. Read Cesar’s ideas on how to engage in thoughtful playtime with your dog.

Spending time with your canine family member will give them comfort, and encouraging play is a great way to help a grieving dog stay active.

When to Introduce a New Dog to the Pack

As for getting a new pet as a replacement, it really depends on the individual situation, says Thomas. “When I’ve lost a loved one, it didn’t help me to bring in a new person as a replacement for the deceased person.”

Introducing a new dog to the family during a time of transition can, in effect, establish an nonconstructive dynamic in the household, explains Dr. Pachel. The owner’s attitude might change, which can create further confusion in your pet. Consistency and stability is more important for the dog who’s grieving.

Only introduce a new furry family member when you’re certain your surviving dog has started to recover. You want to make sure your family pet is eating and drinking normally, interested in play time, and has enough energy to go about their regular routine.

As pet owners, we may feel that a companion dog will help our own grief as well as our dog’s grief, but timing is very important. You don’t want your remaining dog to feel confused, dejected, or ignored.

Supporting a Grieving Pet: How Dogs Grieve and How You Can Help

Just like us, our dogs experience a range of emotions, and when a family member or other dog dies, your pup will likely show some signs of grief. 

Give your dog the time and support he needs without adding more stress by introducing a new pet too soon or forcing him to move on. Your dog will recover best with patience, quality time, and routine.